Press Releases for Increased Web Traffic

One of the great things about press releases is that they get your URL's all over the search engines IMMEDIATELY. Yes, Immediately. No waiting 3-6 weeks. Your releases could get indexed within 24 hours.
Top 10 search engine listings are very common.
Submit your releases Thursdays and Fridays, so they are released on Saturdays and Sundays in the media. There is a two day delay if you use PR Web. Your strategy is not for media publication, which might include a release being put in magazines, or newspaper, but mainly for Search Engine Optimization. You want an online audience to find you, not an offline.
When using a service like PR Web, the competition for #1 or a top 10 listing on page one of PR Web's MAIN website is LESS on weekends too, as people are not paying top dollar to be there on Saturdays and Sundays, when media people are not working traditional 9-5 jobs.
The Elements you need to include in Your Press Release are:
TitleSubheadBodyKeywordsContact Info
TITLE
Your title should be keyword rich, with the specific niche you are marketing to. Try for the first 5 words to be your keywords you want the press release optimized for. Do some keyword research, using www.goodkeywords.com to see what people in your niche are most looking for and also buying. Add those popular keywords into your title.
Use good copywriting headlines of the past, and modify them to fit your situation. Many great long copy style "direct response" sales letters have wonderful titles and headlines which you can modify and borrow.
SUBHEAD
Your subhead should also be keyword rich, repeating some of the main keywords found in the title, but telling a little more info in 2-3 sentences. This is where you summarize what your PR is going to talk about.
BODY
Your body must contain a great story, which makes readers want to read it. It can be short or long, but add relevant keywords and keyword phrases to it which will help optimization. You might want to have your keyword or key phrases mentioned 4-7 times in your release.
The length of your release should be 100-500 words. Some services take more words than that, but if you can do a power punched release with all the goods in it and make the media take notice, do make it short.
Include the basics in your body which one would find in everyday newspaper articles.
WhoWhatWhenWhereWhyHow
Tell a story and speak to the news media, don't sell to them. Don't make your press release, "Press Release Spam or PRSpam." Don't make it an ad and try to sell the product or service in your release. The idea is to make them curious, and want to go to your sites, find out more, where you can collect a lead or make a sale there.
Don't use words like "You can make money". Use words like "One can make money..." Speaking in the right "person" makes it legit. Watch how you use, "I said, you said, or he/she said."
Also ad your website URL in the body if you can, and if it is relevant.
KEYWORDS
Usually you can select 5-10 keywords, depending on which services you are using, which are the ones you used in your press release content, which helps get you listed for them with Search Engine Optimization, and that will bring you targeted niche traffic.
CONTACT INFO
Your Contact info should be a website, or phone # where you can capture a lead's contact information.
CAUTION:
Beware of getting in trouble with the companies you represent. Some do not allow press releases to be published with out permission. If you are lucky, you will get off with just a warning but you could be risking your whole business relationship.
So, be sure what you are writing about is okay and always get permission first from a compliance department if you are not the owner of the company or representing something or someone else.
If you would like to write about a newsworthy event of another company and use their publicity to get you publicity, ask permission first.
How to Write Press Releases
Do a search for keywords similar to yours and read how others have written their releases to get more of an idea how to write yours. www.prweb.com has a search box, which you can type in your keywords and see the patterns, flows and styles of similar press releases.
Have fun establishing yourself as an expert!
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Advertising Agency: Get Your Pair of Wings to Fly

Isn't advertising and promotion become a necessity in today's business scene? This is a question that holds immense importance for entrepreneurs and business managers. It is a harsh experience for those who fail to survive the competition in markets. However, businesses can survive and have a sustainable development by taking sensible steps. The very basic need can be identified as hiring an advertising agency. This is one business associate that is more of an asset to the organization. In simple words, such an entity can ease all the trouble related to branding and promotion.
Moreover, a premier advertising agency it reduces the stress of handling the advertisement campaigns in house. The ability and expertise of the agency professionals comes in handy for getting the most out of the campaigns. This can be useful in building a brand value and positioning the brand in the target market. Whether it is the launch of a product or re-branding the whole thing, the creative solutions of a company makes the people perceive the brand in a better way. With the market shares shrinking due to competition, it becomes necessary to adopt cutting edge promotional strategies.
Now, the advertising agency also plays the role of a strategist, as they formulate plans and strategies to create a pull or demand for the brand and trigger the distribution. In addition, organization's market image can be rectified, corrected, improved or even established in order to support business projects. Such an agency can easily form the base for expansion plans. The skilled professionals of the agency coordinates the campaigns for drawing maximum quality response. From designing and developing the advertisements to ensuring relevant delivery of ads, everything is channelized by the agency.
The advertising agency can identify the target customers and devise strategies to encourage them towards the brand. The creative talent of the agency comes in helpful in designing advertisements, logos, mascots, slogans, punchlines, tag lines, etc. It is altogether quite crucial for translation of brand image over the web. The web presence made by experts is useful for interactive sales, consumer research and pull in or push through encouragement for customers. This enables the companies to concentrate on core activities devoted to product development and administration. This helps in increasing revenue and inducing growth in business.
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Who Else Wants A Natural Treatment for Acne Scars

Suffering from acne breakouts is embarrassing. It is even worse when you finally manage to control your acne only to learn that it has left a painful memento in the form of acne scarring on your face. When acne leaves scars, it can be devastating to a person's self image and self esteem.
It is no wonder that people with acne scars look far and wide for a solution to this skin problem. Unfortunately most of their searching leads to invasive and expensive procedures when they long for a natural treatment for acne scars.
A Natural Treatment For Acne Scarring Was Hard To Find
For many years, if you had acne scars you simply had to live with them. For most adults experiencing the condition the acne scars were painful reminders of their adolescent years. Years when perhaps their skin held them back from being as outgoing and involved in the social scene as they had wished to be.
Doctors saw the problem and worked hard to come up with a remedy. Plastic surgeons were often able to reverse some of the damage that acne had done, but as with any type of surgery, the procedure was expensive and painful. Very few people could afford to have their acne scars surgically altered.
Dermatologists worked to develop a new procedure that could help to remove scars and be done on an outpatient basis. The results were chemical peels. folder gluer
Chemical peels lift off the top layers of your skin leaving your delicate new skin underneath. Since chemicals are used to remove the top layers of your skin, this procedure can hardly be thought of as a natural treatment for acne scars.
The procedure is also quite expensive and isn't covered by insurance. Micro dermabrasion treatments also remove the top layers of your skin, but do so by harshly exfoliating the surface layers of your skin with a very strong product. It isn't as expensive as most chemical peels, but it isn't something that everyone can afford to add to their budget.
What to do When You Want a Natural Treatment for Acne Scars?
If surgery and chemicals aren't your cup of tea, consider trying an herbal remedy for your facial problems. The best natural treatment for acne scars can actually be found as close as your nearest herbalist or health food store.
Studies show that vitamin A can help to soften and reduce scars. If you have severe scarring surgery is probably your only bet to rid of you scars, a natural treatment just won't be strong enough.
Vitamin A is naturally found in rosehips, so by simply massaging your face with rosehip seed oil you can infuse it with vitamin A. After a few months of this treatment, you will notice a softening of the scar tissue and a lessening of the scars appearance.
The best part of this natural treatment for acne scars is that it isn't very expensive and isn't a bit painful. Good luck on your journey towards health and wellness!folder gluer

Market To Less People And Make More Money

One of the biggest mistakes people make when they market online is that they try to market to everyone and anyone. This is a huge mistake and can end up costing you a lot of money, and to top it off you probably will see poor results from all your hard work. If you find your self making this ways do not worry, because 95% of marketers do it. That does not mean it is the correct way to market though.folder gluer
By now you should know that you need to find your target market so you can get high quality traffic. Now not all traffic is created equal and this is because not everyone is going to need or want what you sell. If you make just a few minor adjustments to your marketing campaigns you can easily start to generate more quality traffic to your websites.
So how does quality over quantity give you better results? Quality traffic will enable you to sell higher ticket items, and you will also be able to sell more items to one specific person. Where as if you market to the masses you find people who either cannot afford what you sell or cannot buy very much of what you are selling, and you can not sell to them multiple times. So in the end you just end up wasting more money then you really need to.
Here are a few things you can add into your marketing to get better quality traffic.folder gluer
- Put words in your ads like serious entrepreneur only.
- Tell people how much your business is to join in your ad
- Make people fill out a very detailed form. The more details they give the better
- In your emails say call only if serious
- Make people buy a small item before you sell them on your big items
- Only call back leads who leave voice mails
- Stay away from words like cheap, free, and easy
- Get people to verify their email address
Those are just a few things you can do to help fine tune your marketing. Remember your goal should be to go after high quality leads who are very interested in your business. Now by just adding a few of the above techniques you will greatly increase the quality of traffic you get which over time will increase the amount of money you make.
Lets face it nobody out there likes talking on the phone to someone who is just going to waste their time. You want people who call you and are ready to go, because we all know time is money.folder gluer

Latino Marketing for Cosmetic Procedures and What Physicians Need to Know

A comprehensive campaign for Latino marketing for cosmetic procedures is much more than just "press two for Spanish" on the dial in office phone. Im amazed at the number of physicians who simply state this along with answers such as we have a Spanish speaking receptionist or our nurses know basic Spanish.
What's needed is a message that creates an emotional attachment; a bond that the Latino and Hispanic community can connect to. Stop and think of the prices for today's cosmetic procedures and what it takes to win that customer. Would anyone conceivably spend thousands of dollars with a doctor they do not feel comfortable with or have no social connection with? Absolutely not.
If you are a physician, consider these compelling statistics if you have not considered a campaign for Latino marketing for cosmetic surgery procedures. The following facts and figures should help you say YES:U.S. Hispanic purchasing power is at nearly $700 billion and is projected to reach $1 trillion by 2007.(1)
There are more Hispanics living in the United States, than the entire population of Canada, which is 32.5 million. (2)
Hispanic advertising by U.S. companies grew 24 percent in 2003, compared with 8.6 percent for the general market.(3)
By mid-century, one out of every four people in the United States will be Hispanic. The African American population by mid-century will remain at the current rate of 13 percent of the total United States population. (2)
An IRS report predicts that 1 out of every 10 small businesses will be Hispanic by the year 2007. Today the proportion stands at 1 in 13 and rising. (4)
With that said, highly specialized physicians, such as cosmetic and plastic surgeons, need to create a marketing campaign that effectively covers the following for effective Latino marketing for cosmetic procedures:
Creating effective and compelling web copy that is not only written in Spanish, but slanted in a writing style and vernacular which appeals to the Latino and Hispanic community.
Developing a sense of cultural awareness by recognizing, honoring, and celebrating important Latino and Hispanic cultural and social events.
Making your web site look and feel important to the Latino and Hispanic end user, instead of it being uninviting, cold and disjointed.
I say this because many physicians that embark on a campaign for Latino marketing for cosmetic procedures actually end up offending or patronizing the end user as the message becomes almost fake or not genuine. People can read between the lines, so physicians need to be genuine with their approach and message.
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Developing an interactive Spanish forum and blog on your web site that lets Latino and Hispanic clients interact with each other, share their thoughts, concerns, surgery expectations, experiences, and almost anything else they choose to speak or comment on.
Remember, simply having a few phrases or paragraphs on your Web site in Spanish, or promoting your practice by having Spanish speaking employees is not enough. Latino marketing for cosmetic surgery procedures will require an in-depth customized marketing campaign that will effectively reach out to the Latino and Hispanic culture, their language, and their emotions.Source:1.Hispanic Purchasing Power: Projections to 2015. HispanTelligence. May 2008. 2.See Hispanics in the U.S.: Breaking down the numbers. June 9, 2005. 3.Figures courtesy Media Economics Group; a research firm that tracks Spanish-language marketing.4. See Hispanic Trends.

The Different Types of Blogs

Blogs are sources that provide information and news, regarding different topics. The term 'blog' is a more casual and popular term for 'Web log'. There are various types of web logs, depending on the kind of information, they provide.
Blog writing or blogging initially began in the form of diaries. These blog types provided personal information as in an autobiography of a person. This requires conscious writing and highlighted important aspects of a person's life, which most people would be keen in reading. This trend highly popularized the practice of blogging.
Blog Post Types:
1. Interviews: Writers often use interviews to learn more about a particular topic, they are working on. Thus, it may not include relevant information, but a general opinion of the public regarding a specific topic. Mostly, one or two questions are asked to get an overview of different responses.
2. Case Studies: It is one of the most popular types of blogs. Web sites include case studies, usually as review posts, where they add certain content information regarding their sites. Many web sites use case studies as a medium to generate income.
3. News Media: These are blogs which display illegal, incorrect, or inaccurate information. Sometimes, they take the content from a media source and make unintentional modifications and omissions.
4. Reviews: Usually, every online product or service has reviews along with it. They contain personal opinions or experiences regarding a particular product. This helps the readers to make a fair choice.
5. Corporate: Business entrepreneurs use corporate blogs to advertise their products and business processes. They update readers regarding recent projects, or services or any other modifications in business.
6. Rants: These are likely to trigger serious discussions and debates. Topics can range from political to ethical values and there are immense differences in opinions. Hence, they sometimes cause controversies, but are highly informative.
7. Spam or Splogs: Their basic purpose is to advertise commercial companies. They contain large number of links to enhance search engine results. Hence, they make use of repetitive text and keywords.
8. Critique Posts: Often mistaken as 'Attack Posts', they are aimed to criticize a particular aspect of a topic the site is advertising. However, critique blogs are mostly a result of criticism.
9. Personal: Teenagers usually, make use of personal web logs to post their anger or share some of their crucial moments and problems with distanced friends. Visitors have an access to such content and can post their opinions or suggestions on the tagboard.
10. Culture Blogs: A social organization designates bloggers to display content regarding the social aspects of a culture or cultural ethics. Here, the content is highly informal and a visitor can post an opinion, without offending any religion or culture.
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Business organizations use branding, sales, relationship, collaboration and knowledge blogs, for different commercial reasons.
Inspirational, humorous, cultures, collation and problem posts are not so common types of web logs, but can bring a desirable change in thinking patterns, if used effectively.

How to Save Money Printing Custom Labels

Have you ever received a quote for a label or other printed material and thought, "Wow, I never imagined it would be so expensive." As a label printing professional, I am often faced with questions about price, and many times there are more cost effective options available but customers either don't know about it, or printers are unwilling to recommend less expensive methods. That ends today! This article will examine a few tried and true cost saving measures you can incorporate when gathering pricing for your custom labels.
Size Does MatterSize plays an important role for a few reasons. Generally, the larger the label, the more expensive the finished product will be. If you are flexible, try to use the smallest size possible to communicate your message. Even a small change in size can affect price, especially when printing large volumes. Also, use standard sizes when possible. Standard sizes run more frequently, so printers tend to offer them at a reduced cost over custom sizes. Always ask if there is a standard size close to your desired size. The slight size change can save you a lot of money.
InksDo you really need to print four-color process? I know...you have a great design that you have put lots of time and energy into, but you quickly realize printing the labels may require you to take out a second mortgage. So what to do? The obvious answer is make the label one or two colors, especially if it is a "throw-away" label with a short lifespan. Also, use standard inks when possible. It is expensive to match pantone colors or create custom colors, and most printers offer standard ink colors at no additional charge.
How Will the Label be Used?Another factor is how the label will be used. Will the label be in harsh environments and exposed to water, extreme temperatures or other solvents? Will the label be on a catalog cover offering a special discount? If the conditions are not extreme, most labels can be printed on an inexpensive standard paper stock. If the label will be exposed to harsh conditions, it will be necessary to produce it on a vinyl or polyester stock with lamination for added protection. It does tend to be expensive to print on a heavy-duty stock, but in most cases, it is well worth it because the label's lifespan will be greatly increased. For non-extreme use, stick with a standard paper stock.
Copy ChangesIf you need a variety of labels with different graphics or text, use the same size and ink color for each label. While it might not be as exciting, it will save you a lot of money because a printer will be able to run the labels together, resulting in a reduced cost per thousand. Also, if you have a variety of changes for a four-color process printing job, make sure the changes are all in black ink, as the black plate is easiest to change and many printers do not charge for black ink changes.
Price Breaks & Quantities Price breaks and quantities do play an important role in term of price. It may actually cost less to print 5,000 labels instead of 4,000 labels because the cost per thousand for 5,000 labels is less. In addition, instead of placing orders monthly in small volumes, print higher quantities and store the labels. This will result in a lower cost per thousand and overall savings. Also, some printers will print large quantities, store the labels and ship them to you as needed. Always ask a printer where their price breaks are and get a quote for the closest price break to your desired quantity.
Printing labels can be an economical way to enhance a product, advertise a promotion, correct an error, relay important information, and much more. Don't be afraid to ask printers questions and negotiate price, and of course, consult with a variety of printers to make sure the price you are getting is fair and reasonable.
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Results Are The Name Of The Game In Broadcast Or Print Advertising

Writing copy for broadcast ads may seem tougher than writing for print. Actually this task is not more difficult.
Resist the temptation to have the radio or TV station write your copy for you. Doing so usually results in your ads sounding and looking pretty much like ads for everyone else.
Understand that all media can and do provide help with your ads but they do not have the staff nor the expertise to go in depth on your individual marketing situation.
Deadlines always trump creativity in any medium you choose. When you run a radio ad, you are speaking to a captive audience. The listener has to change the station or turn down the volume in order to tune your ad out.
Speak to the radio listeners directly. If you do, they may listen. If you do not, you and your ad will be toast.
Start with an engaging headline . . . a strong opening that tells the listener what you are going to tell them. Then tell them. Complete your ad by telling them what you have already told them!
Lastly, urge listeners to take some kind of action: buy your product or service; call for an appointment; send for a free report, etc.
Just as in print choose a single theme in broadcast ads. Never use bullet points from print ads. Spoken words or phrases that are disjointed rarely make it to the brain of the listener.
Avoid empty words and puffery. Writing radio commercials is a VISUAL exercise. People actually SEE words. It actually takes longer to say something and have it heard than it does to write it and have it read.
The average 30 second radio spot should be no more than 70 words (130 for 60 seconds). Those words should include your name or the name of your business no less than three times.
There are two types of radio stations: 1) background music stations that are listened to somewhat passively and 2) foreground stations like talk radio that require listeners to pay attention.
Match your ad with the format of the station. Generation Y and business execs do not respond to the same voices or vocabulary.
Just as in print, repetition in radio is crucial to your success. If your budget is tight, consider running your radio spots in the same time slot every day for one week.
Drop out a week and come back in for another seven days later on. This strategy will help your break through the clutter. Just as in print, radio has its own clutter.
At the risk of stating the obvious, TV is a visual medium. Some say (correctly) that the medium is the message. Visuals are critical when you use TV . . . more important than actual words.
Television ads sell primarily by stirring up emotions. Viewers rarely remember details of your TV ad, but they do remember how your ad made them feel. It is your the job of your TV ad to make viewers feel motivated.
Get to the point . . . quickly. You have two to three seconds to get the TV viewer's attention. That means you need the visual equivalent of a strong headline.
A strong headline is a necessity for any kind of ad--print or broadcast. Blow the headline and you blow the ad. No headline, no chance. Weak headline, little chance.
If your TV opening is strong, you then have no more than five seconds to engage with the viewer to get across what your ad is about.
Miss this window and viewers will tune out or zap your ad with their clicker. Benefit copy in TV ads (what is in it for the viewer) need to be visual. SHOW and Tell is the name of the TV ad game.
Show your benefits and show your logo. Get them both up on the screen. Don't forget to show your address and phone number.
Use a voice over to recite these vitals as they are being shown. Always monitor results. Someone saying they saw or heard your ad does not comprise results.
Old style advertising that entertains, but does not sell, is rarely cost-effective. Saying something clever and hoping people remember just does not cut it anymore. Results are the name of the ad game for small businesses no matter the medium.
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Halloween Face Painting Designs: Ghost, Pumpkin, Candy Corn

When Halloween approaches, you know that face painting season is kicking into high gear. Try these easy, but immensely child-pleasing Halloween "cheek art" designs at class parties, fall festivals and homecoming carnivals.
Begin with good quality, water-based face paints. You can find them online or in some theatrical stores. A palette of six, good-quality face paints is priced around $12.00 and includes enough paint for 70 or more cheek art designs. Water-based face paints apply as easily as watercolors and remove cleanly with a paper towel and water.
For a small gathering of children, two or three small to medium sized paint brushes will be sufficient. A bowl of water to rinse the brushes and a roll of paper towels conclude the list of basic supplies.
In my opinion, the simplest design to paint is that of a ghost. The basic shape of the ghost is that of a triangle. With a brush loaded with white paint, paint a loose triangle by creating a wavy line to outline the ghost. Fill in with more white paint, dot on black eyes and a smile and the ghost is complete.
Nothing is "sweeter" than a face dotted with painted candy corn. The basic shape is a pyramid, with yellow on the bottom third, orange on the middle third and white at the peak. You can create a candy corn crown by painting the candies in succession along the forehead.
To paint a jack-o-lantern, begin with a circle or oval of orange paint. When the orange paint dries, add small triangles in black paint for the eyes and nose and paint a toothy smile in black as well. Add a green stem and your jack-o-lantern is complete.
The most important thing to remember when face painting is to have fun and keep it simple! Children aren't expecting a Picasso to be painted on their face. They simply love to celebrate the occasion and face painting is the perfect way to light up the face of any child.
JoAnne Westcott is the author of the downloadable e-book, Easy Face Painting: How You Can Get Professional Results Even If You've Never Picked Up A Paintbrush. You can learn more about face painting and how to acquire the simple skills to get started by visiting http://www.easyfacepainting.com

Total mayhem at home

One day a man comes home from work to find total mayhem at home. The kids were outside still in their pajamas playing in the mud and muck. There were empty food boxes and wrappers all around.
As he proceeded into the house, he found an even bigger mess. Dishes on the counter, dog food spilled on the floor, a broken glass under the table, and a small pile of sand by the back door. The family room was strewn with toys andvarious items of clothing, and a lamp had been knocked over.
He headed up the stairs, stepping over toys, to look for his wife. He was becoming worried that she may be ill, or that something had happened to her. He found her in the bedroom, still in bed with her pajamas on, reading a book.
She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"
She again smiled and answered, "You know everyday when you come home from work and ask me what I did today?"
"Yes, was his reply."
She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it!"
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Consultants...

A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display.
While he was there another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper "I'll have a C monkey please".
The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop, and took out a monkey. He fit a collar and leash and handed it to the customer, saying, "That'll be $5000."
The customer paid and walked out with his monkey. Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did it cost so much?"
The shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that monkey can program in C - very fast, tight code, no bugs, well worth the money."
The tourist looked at the monkey in another cage. "That one's even more expensive - $10,000! What does it do?" "Oh, that one's a C++ monkey; it can manage object-oriented programming, Visual C++, even some Java. All the really useful stuff," said the shopkeeper.
The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a cage of its own. The price tag around its neck read $50,000.
He gasped to the shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the others put together! What on earth does it do?"
The shopkeeper replied, "Well, I haven't actually seen it do anything, but it says it's a consultant."
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Laloo again!

Once Laloo was coming out of an airport. As there was huge rush the security guard told Laloo "Wait, please."Lalloo said, "65 kilo," and moved on...
*
Laloo's family planning policy...
"DONT HAVE MORE THAN TWO CHILDREN IN ONE YEAR."
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God Will Save Me...

There came a big flood, and the water around Bhola's house was rising steadily..
Bhola was standing on the porch, watching water rising all around him, when a man in a boat came along and called to Bhola, "Get in the boat and I'll get you out of here. Bhola replied, "No thanks, God will save me."
Bhola went into the house, and the water was starting to pour in. So, he went up to the second floor.
As he looked out, another man in a boat came along, and he called to Bhola, "Get in the boat and I'll get you out of here."
Again, Bhola replied, "No thanks. God will save me."
The water kept rising. So, Bhola got out onto the roof.
A helicopter flew over, and the pilot called down to Bhola, "I'll drop you a rope,grab onto it, and I'll get you out of here."
Again Bhola replied, "No thanks. God will save me."
The water rose and rose, and soon nearly covered the whole house. Bhola fell in, and drowned.
When he arrived in Heaven, he saw God, and asked Him, "Why didn't you save me from that terrible flood? Did I not show you my faith?"
With a loving but irritated tone God replied, "What more would you have me do? I sent people in two boats and a helicopter?"
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Computer Movers

Bhola and Herolal are employed in a computer hardware store as movers.One day both of them are asked to move some computers. Herolal being energetic that day doesn't feel the computer to be heavy at all. At the same time he sees that Bhola is struggling very hard to lift his computer.
At this Herolal says,"What Bhola, my comp has 500 MB HardDisk and urs has just 250, even then u cannot lift it ???"At this Bhola thinks for a while and replies,"Thats right, but my HardDisk is full and urs is empty"
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Molvi sab

Girl; molvi sab i m in love.Molvi;Naoozbila,Asteghirula,Laholwala,Toba,Toba.........Girl;No molvi sab...........I am in love with u.........Molvi;MashaAllah,JazakAllah,SubanAllah,Whaa,Whaa........
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Apes and Software

Start with a cage containing five apes.In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana, but as soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes with cold water. After a while, another ape makes an attempt with the same result -- all the apes are sprayed with cold water.Turn off the cold water.If, later, another ape tries to climb the stairs, the other apes will try to prevent it even though no water sprays them. Now, remove one ape from the cage and replace it with a new one.
The new ape sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his horror, all of the other apes attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five apes and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm.
Again, replace a third original ape with a new one. The new one makes it to the stairs and is attacked as well. Two of the four apes that beat him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the beating of the newest ape. After replacing the fourth and fifth original apes, all the apes which have been sprayed with cold water have been replaced.Nevertheless, no ape ever again approaches the stairs. Why not?"Because that's the way it's always been around here."
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Special Laloo Postage Stamp!

When Laloo completed 25 years of his rule over Bihar, he wanted a special postage stamp issued, with his picture on it. He so instructed Rabridevi, stressing that it should be of international quality. The stamps were duly released, and Lalloo was pleased.
But within a couple of days of release of the stamp, he began hearing complaints that the stamp was not sticking properly, and became furious. He called Rabri and ordered her to investigate the matter. Rabri checked the matter out at several post offices, and then reported on the problem to Lallo Prasad.
She said: "The stamp is really of international quality. The problem is, our people are spitting on the wrong side!"
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To Miss............ (A love letter)

(Please do read through to the end, its very interesting)The first day I met you, you smiled,
and I was not able to understand the importance
like an idiot. You always look to me as a
good honest girl and I hope my love is not an
object of contempt. It is true I always said
that I will remain a Bachelor, that is before
I loved you. That idea was just
spoken in a fit of optimism; It was
rubbish after seeing. I regretted
the days I did not speak to you or when not
seeing your pulverising beauty. If I proposed
I have a big doubt whether
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Getting married

'Honey,' said a husband to his wife, 'I invited a friend home for dinner.' 'What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn't go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!''I know all that.' 'Then why did you invite a friend for supper?' 'Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married.' factory

Understanding Women!!!

A Woman's Vocabulary, Keywords and Meanings:hot stamping and die cutting machine

Body ache

Bholaji goes to the doctor and says "Doc, I ache all over. Every where I touch it hurts."folding and gluing machine